N: LOLA!
L: I’m literally right here. Sitting next to you. You don’t need to yell.
N: But I like yelling. This is a very yelly year.
L: You’re not wrong. Remember our 2020 year in review?
N: Should I? I told you nobody reads these. Including us.
L: Something about 2021 asking 2020 to hold her beer?
N: Fuck, so it’s our fault? Why can’t we just keep our gob holes shut?
L: It is, we can’t, we didn’t, and it happened.
N: Not sure if 2021 was the best of times or the worst of times, but it was… times.
L: Let’s start with the best…
…
…
N: Lola?
L: Shh, I’m thinking… Never mind, better to just puke meatballs on the wall and see what sticks.
N: … we said we would never speak of that again.
L: shrug emoji.
N: Let’s try some new categories.
THE LITERARY
- Cocktails!
- Auroras. Shit, we didn’t win again this year. Or get nominated. Or vote. Fucking Auroras.
- New books! We released three fucking fantastic tomes that people actually purchased and claimed to read. Including Unfortunate Elements of My Anatomy by the amazing Hailey Piper (now in hardcover!), The Walking Son by the unnerving Eddie Generous, and the much anticipated by absolutely no one, Terrace VI: Forbidden Fruit, curated by yours truly and featuring a gaggle of gluttonous contributors including Mike Thorn, Robin van Eck, Julie Hiner, Eddie Generous, Cam Hayden, and Konn Lavery.
- Another fucking virtual When Words Collide. Jesus Christ…
- Lola had stories out in Vastarien Vol. 3, Issue 2, and the Short Sharp Shocks series.
- Co-wrote Corn Dogs, a Ukrainian taco-fueled, hell hound infested Trace and Solomon holiday boondoggle set in Taber. We took out the sex and cussing and sold it for real money!
- Finished drafts our novels. They suck and we love them.
- Noggy got taken for an absolute ride by vengeful poets in agreeing to put together the AWCS 40th Anniversary anthology.
- Non-virtual TST Nightmares before Christmas party! Celebrating our 2021 books with the debut performance of The Deadly Skulls, noise complaints and all.
THE (MIS)ADVENTUROUS
- Cocktails!!
- First Vaccination. When everyone was getting the Pfizer Cadillac, we hopped a ride on the AZ hillbilly hay truck down a road full of potholes.
- Witchcraft. Look, we trapped an Elemental in a candle. It’s still there. In the back of a drawer. We don’t know what to do. Help us… please.
- Found a butt shaped rock on a full moon run. Serendipity.
- The bug in Lola’s eye. ROFL!.
- Tetanus shots.
- Second vaccination. Yay, Pfizer!
- Skinny dipping in the river. While high. Wearing dress shoes. Coming back to find our clothes covered in slugs.
- Running the Blackspur Ultra in Kimberly. In the rain. In the cold. Uphill both ways. Epic chafing. Meatballs. Meatballs, in reverse.
- Running the Lost Soul Ultra in Lethbridge. In the rain. In the cold. On fucking pavement.
- Noggy running the Whistler Alpine Meadows Ultra, with acute Achilles bursitis.
- Third vaccination. Are we done yet?
- Shockwave therapy! It’s like fun, but with extra medieval torture.
- Dogma Logs (see image above).
THE CELEBRATORY
- Cocktails!!!
- Noggy’s birthday. Cannoli in a parking lot.
- Wedding Anniversaries. Latest and last.
- Living our best lives in parental basements and decommissioned love hotels.
- Shrek-themed birthday party for Lola. Random, yet utterly perfect.
- Cursed pies.
- Weird Thanksgiving.
- Betty Lou’s Library speakeasy followed by dinner with the Russian mob.
- Taylor’s Version everything! Lola is obsessed. Noggy will sing along three sidecars deep.
- Solstice: sneaking in a yule log into Fairmont Hotel #1, praying to Hecate, cayenne pepper in the carpet, poking our noses where they don’t belong, five bourbons and an eggnog at the Tipsy Elf.
- Omicron!
- Weirder Christmas
- Dead Week: the most wonderful time of the year
2022 SNEAK PEEK
- Naked Snow Angels (there may be pictures).
- Roofied by Lola’s dad and his weed infused absinthe punch.
- Hell Hath no Sorrow Like a Woman Haunted by R.J. Joseph and Terrace V: Penitent’s Gold curated by us!
- Lawyer fees.
- Vaccinations 4, 5, and 6?
- Squamish Ultra and the Triple WAMmy with like fifty thousand feet of vert.
- Hopefully some writing.
N: Soooo. No way we should have survived.
L: Yet here we are.
N: Are we though?
L: Where ever here is. In spite of it all, I’m still happier now than I was a year ago.
N: That’s the literal four thousand cocktails speaking, and maybe that weed punch.
L: I predict the first half of 2022 will be like the signature Icelandic shark dish Hákarl, it’s gotta ferment five months before it’s non-toxic.
N: We’ll wash it down with Arby’s and extra-large DQ Blizzards come July.